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Sunday, 1 May 2016

Sugar land

Sugar land 
Tears of frustration roll down my face
- as if I’m cutting onions.
I will never escape.

People think this would be a good land to stay in 
but it's not. 

Meanwhile the little men are following the tracks , 
to find a way out. 

I am more and more lonely 
as the days go past. 

I'm so confused that my face is going wrinkled 
like fingers have been in the water for too long.

I walk down the sugary hills looking for anyone to keep me company  
but of course there's nothing.

I don't know what's going on,
I pant and pant I never stop. It's a terror world. 
Why am I here?
How did I get here?
What's happening?

This artwork was made by a Australian girl named Tanya Schultz.

Sugar land reflection 
What am I learning 
I am learning to write ekphrastic poetry and I think I am doing well I have been writing some similarities and some metaphors I think I've been doing good my poem might go on to my blog and that would be great.

How am I going
Well I think I'm going well. I must be getting better at poetry because I'm putting more and more metaphors in my poem I also need to stop putting similarities in to my poem but I'm going pretty good at my poem. 

I'm going good because
Well that's tricky. I think I'm going well because I'm actually using metaphors but I'm just learning how.

What are my next steps
My next steps are to put my commas in because I keep forgetting and then the reader doesn't get any pauses and they would have to hold their breath so I'm going to do it more often.

1 comment:

  1. You really bought me with you this carrying me all the way. Do you ever stop writing? Why because you really always alumnae me in your writing bringing me to another world. One question I have is why is this a bad world?